When I started working I knew that I would feel guilt for leaving my boy.
Would he think I'd abandoned him? How will we both cope? We've spent every single second since he was conceived together!
I was secretly hoping that he'd have some sort of allergic reaction (not really) to daycare and that my choice would automatically be made, I would just be a mommy that worked from home for ever.
Truth be told, I knew that I had to do this. For him to gain independence and for me to keep my sanity, being with a baby all day really gets to you (when you watch baby shows and catch yourself being really into it, you know its time to get your tooshy to work)
I also know that if something (god forbid) were to happen to Kye that I would be able to take care of my boy and give him the life that he deserves.
Just as my parents did for me.
With all of that being said, I still can't help but feel guilty.
Guilty that I come home and he's upset because he's tired.
Guilty that I look at him every night and realize that yes, he really has grown in the 11 hours that I've not seen him.
Even guilty that I wasn't there to change his dirty diaper! haha
I will eventually learn that he is healthy, happy and enjoys his time at "school" (daycare) and with dad.
And those nights after dinner, getting him ready for bed will forever be my favorite time.
Now I just need to stop driving home like a race car driver breaking all sorts of laws to get home to my boy.
After all he needs his mommy home in one piece.
xoxo
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